I guess now that I am in Canada I should keep you up dated on my travels and whereabouts. So far it has been a bit of a strange time. A little bit of a trip down memory lane to be more precise. Everyone talks about how things have changed and how different it is to be back, but what I think threw me off the most was how little things have changed.
I left Korea on Christmas Eve, after spending a great weekend with my girlfriend. We had the unspoken rule of not talking about what was going to happen (me actually leaving) and just had a good time. After an emotional week and many hard good-byes to some very good friends, I really needed to just relax. It is amazing how powerful “good-bye” is when you really mean it.
After years and years of moving around, you know that are some really good friends that will disappear, once you turn your back. They are not gone for good but you know that chances are rare that you will ever see them again or regain the same friendship that you had before. This is just the hard reality that you face when you have lived in as many places as I have.
The plane ride was not quite as long as I thought it would be. I tuned out for a while trying hard not to think about the life and the love that I left behind. Some of you may laugh at that, but you have never walked in my shoes. It was a hard thing to just walk away, even knowing that I would be reunited with her in a few months.
Getting on the plane to Canada felt like I had left the stove on at home. I spent the next 11 hours wondering what it was that I was leaving behind and questioning my motives for leaving. An 11 hour flight will give you more than enough time to examine every little detail of your life and your future.
Home was strange. Even now, after a couple of weeks here, it still fells like it will vanish as soon as I drive away. There have been weird feelings, memories and problems that were so far away, that I had to come to terms with once I walked through that door. Being away for so long you get a chance to sort of distance yourself from everything like that.
Home is always home, but now it has some new additions. My family structure has changed a bit since I have been away and I am not sure where I fit any more. Thus, the push out West was a needed change. I love my home and my family, but after being away for so long, I just don’t fit in anymore.
So I filled the tank up with gas, filled my mug up with coffee and drove out to Vancouver. 2 and a half days of driving await me. Icy roads, mountain passes and the unknown future lay waiting for me up ahead…